Why are you even doing this?

This was the most asked question when I first told people that I wanted to make my decisions using the coin flip method. It all started from a fact (I use this word wildly here, not knowing if it is really a fact or not) that I had seen a few times on social media. It talked about how when you’re not sure of something flip a coin, while it is in the air you will realize what you’re actually hoping for. Sounds easy right?

Wondering the predicament I must have been in that involved me taking out a coin to decide what I want? I was working on a canvas and didn’t know whether to write ELEGANCE or DEFIANCE.

To be honest the first time I threw the coin I thought of ELEGANCE as the silver (is it even appropriate to call Kenyan coins silver?) flipped in the air. It still didn’t sit right with me. I did it a second time and again I thought of elegance…or did I just force that on? (Watch me slowly drown into the black hole of over thinking) I did it a few more times and realized it got harder every time because I was questioning a very simple process. Did I expect the coin to always give me the same answer? No. I did hope that while in the air I would with complete one-hundred percent certainty know what I was hoping for.

Would this theory (or fact as I called it earlier) apply when tested many times? Each time as the coin twists and turns in the air would my mind automatically really pick the one I really want? I made a few of my work mates test this…they didn’t really help much. Most couldn’t even figure out what they wanted to ask and the others didn’t even know how to flip (these are the guys who “only handle notes” apparently)

I eventually came up with an idea after wasting a lunch tossing the coin and asking it different questions like it was some 8-ball or pocket friendly fortune teller. The thought simple: what it would be like to have a coin determine your life. To leave what I want to eat, or whether I should go out or not or do my work all up to a small 20 shilling coin. Heck. Why not? It’s not like been making the best of decisions on my own.

At the time there was no reason not to try it out and all the curiosity to try it out ( I can feel the people who wait for a reply from me for almost 3 days roll their eyes at this. Told ya’ll I’m shit at chatting, anyway that’s for another post). For starters I’m an over thinker and this seemed like the perfect way to try and tackle it. It would of course only work if I one hundred percent gave the coin full control and respect for the decisions that it would make. Not like what I had done during lunch, which was question its every purpose (yes look at silly old me questioning probability…flip off).

It’s a common saying in Mombasa ‘yote yameandikwa,’ which translates to all is written. I love this because to think that your whole life has already been jotted down like a script and you’re just dancing along to the tune excites me to no need. So at this point was flipping the coin simply following the book written in the heavens?

So there I was implementing a social experiment on myself for myself. Of course for this to work it still had to come down to two options only, but that was more manageable. I started with a 10 bob coin which I spent on viazi the same morning and the next few I kept on loosing (or some office cunt kept on stealing it). That’s what led me to get a different coin that had no value here. That solution was Casino Paradise Walker Hill coin from Seoul, Korean. Found it at home in a box full of coins from all over the world. It was perfect! Now the two weeks experiment was good to go.

Some of the good things that came out of this were the fact that I didn’t spend a lot of time over thinking what I want or whether I should do something. It got me out to meet a few people that my usual lazy ass would have rather just seen on a later date (and later and later and later and later…until they would give up). A lot of occasions the coin got me trying something new and on one spiritual awakening instance kept me away from stabbing someone with my pen.

On the down side, the coin stopped me from stabbing someone with a pen (sigh). Also I did have to wake up two mornings to work out and on one of those I did the coin flip workout (what hell on earth is that?! Who even does that shit!) which left me sore and sour.

What was a fun social experiment soon went downhill when I started to feel like the coin was nagging me. Forcing me to do stuff I didn’t necessarily want to do. Clearly I’m not good with being told what to do. That is when things got difficult and the over thinking slowly crept back veining through the anger I had towards the coin (yes I get mad at coins. You’re about to get mad at Samantha! Shut up).

Another highlight was when the coin had to answer the heart throbbing question: who would I end up with. Flipping between two variables and eventually the winners of each round progressing on till there was only one (lucky winner of yours truly – Kenya’s shitstick-me). Ujue, future BAE is reading this, please stop wasting time and let’s just do this.

The next highlight was when went shopping in Naivas, walking around picking items and brands based on the coin. There was a lady sampling some juices that asked me which one I wanted to try first and I legit pulled out the coin and flipped in front of her and told her to pick heads or tails. If you could have seen her confused face at that time like I did, I think I will probably be some important feedback she takes to her boss. In general I got a few confused stares as I walked around with the trolley mumbling stuff to myself, flip a coin, shrug and pick something off the shelf and put it in.

Ohhhhmyyyylaaaaawwwdddd, I just realized I must have looked like a complete nutter. Worth it!

So how do I feel about this? It’s great when I can’t decide whether to spray paint the word elegance or defiance on my latest art project, but it’s really bad when your friend tells you that the coin decides whether you hang out with them – especially when you’d rather be topless at home eating krisps off your wobbly stomach. If there was one thing that I got out of this was that no matter what I did, over thinking was a part of me I couldn’t just avoid for now and second was probability cans sometimes be a bitch. So there we have it, my January was entertained by this experiment. Until next time I hope you enjoyed. Let me know of your experiences with coin flips and if you’ve ever used it to make an important life choice.

Till next month (unless someone majorly pisses me off and I need a rant). Farewell.

Ps. I feel like Trump would probably be a better president if he tried the coin flip method.