IF WE BAN PLASTIC BAGS WHAT HAPPENS TO JULIET FRIENDS?

JULIET
O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

ROMEO
My lady,
Thy voice as sweet as avocado with sukuma.
Thy ails gone?

JULIET
The physical ails may be gone but-
I have a concern that flashed across my thoughts
During my high fever.

ROMEO
Tell me what concerns thee today.
It honors me that thou care thy chest to me
And only me.

JULIET
Of course who else would always show up-
To my balcony at odd hours?

ROMEO
Many men!
By the hundreds in fact!

JULIET
Oh don’t be silly
I have 3000 friends
6342 followers
And a flock of 11,798.

They will be here in thousands!

ROMEO
Well-
I pray the Gods keep them at bay
Or I will have to bare the blood of a city.

JULIET
Thou need not worry.
Too many fuck-boys goings around-
But that’s for another day.

I worry for a subsection of people,
A whole clandestine culture.
I fear for their existence.
The apocalypse in their rear view mirror

ROMEO
What heavy burdens my lady carries.

JULIET
‘tis the burden of these bountiful bosoms.
The Gods humbled me with intellect.

ROMEO
Well maybe this simple man
May aid in carrying the weight of thy bosoms.
What people do thou fear for?

JULIET
To think so many of my friends may have to
Flee this country for their lives

ROMEO
What have they done to deserve such an unjust fate?

JULIET
‘tis not what they’ve done.
‘tis because of who they art.
O!
What a fate to be judged and attacked for who thou art.

ROMEO
‘tis but an unfortunate life for many,
The world is cruellest to its own.
Look at us-

JULIET
Yes.
But for them I worry.

ROMEO
Who art they?
It tickles my curiosity and
I beg thee scratch that itch.

JULIET
O-
My concern
If the government had banned all plastics,
Where shall all these plastic bitches go?

ROMEO
(Silence)

JULIET
I don’t only talk of women.
Men too.
There is a heavy fine if we’re caught with one.
Now I find myself lonely.
I can’t go out with them,
Be caught in public and pay a fee.

ROMEO
(Silence)

JULIET
Nor can I ask them to change.
I imagine they live in fear
Locked in their homes for fear of death.

ROMEO
I saw Judy at lighthouse yesterday
With her fiancée

JULIET
O!
She mustn’t know then.
She mustn’t have heard of the ban
Her life so frail,
Could end in a second.

O-
Romeo thou shouldn’t have told me this.
Now I am burdened with guilt.
Her life now in my hands.

ROMEO
(Confused AF Silence)

JULIET
Haste now to her
And give her a message.
Thou must tell her of the ban
Have her flee this country immediately.
Her life in terrible danger.

Go!
Go now before
I must kiss my skin with black
And cry tears as she sinks in the sand.
Go now.
Hurry!

Stay not too long though
For a fine thou shall pay
For being found with plastic.

ROMEO
Art thou serious?

JULIET
I never joke-
About the soul of another!

ROMEO
My love
Perhaps thou burden thyself with problems that-

JULIET
Thou judge me?

ROMEO
Nay.
Nay. Never.
I just…
Perhaps thou could call her or message,
On thy cellular.

JULIET
Phone.
It’s a phone!
And how could thou have me do such a thing.
Handle contraband.
Aiding and abetting.
O Romeo,
Do thou want to throw mud on thy lady’s dress?
To turn me to a common criminal.
Have me put to prison?
Have thou not watched Orange is the New black?
If I go to prison I’ll get me a lady-lover,
And thou will be but a memory.
Slowly scissor’d out of my conscious
Does thou want that?

ROMEO
Never my love.
The mere mention
Of such a future had me on the brink
Of death!

I shall do as thou say
To put the purest thing in my life
Such.

JULIET
O –
My hero.
Now run along my Romeo.
Save a life.

ROMEO
Will I see thou again?

JULIET
O,
But on Friday I shall stand and call for thee.
If the writer doth of course try to meet deadlines,
Or then perhaps a Saturday
Or the crept in Thursday no one knows off.

ROMEO
I shall answer-
Any day.